An Innocent Man
by loopylou992
Summary: Placed on death row wrongly accused of murder, Carlisle Cullen knows his time is short but because of good behaviour, the wardens allow him an hour with his lover before his sentence comes to pass. Will he get the answers to the many unanswered questions before his life is ended? *SLASH* Entry for SWW Anon prompt competition


SWW PLOT BUNNY PROMPT COMPETITION.

Prompt: A man on death row knows that his time is nearly over. However he is innocent of the crime they convicted him of. A kind gesture allows him an hour with his lover, will he find peace before his sentence is commuted?

Warning: Deals with life on death row and description of death sentence being carried out - you have been warned!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

I watch from my bed as the sun rises, knowing this will be the last one I see, short of a miracle. Forgive me for not believing in those. Miracles are for those who believe in something and I have nothing to believe in, other than the fact that soon I will die, condemned to death for a murder I did not commit. My lawyer did everything he could, but given the fact I couldn't afford one, the court appointed him for me. In the eyes of the law, my family, and just about everyone around me, I am guilty. Only I know the truth, not that anyone will listen to me.

When I say that I am innocent––I truly am. There is no way that I would murder someone in cold blood, but fate took me to Edward's home that night. I found him slumped in the hallway, covered in blood. I held him, talked to him as he struggled to keep the life from leaving his body. The blood was everywhere; he had multiple stab wounds, and there really was nothing I could do to save him. Remembering how the white t-shirt he was wearing had changed color and was covered in blood, his blood. I just wanted to comfort him so that he wouldn't be alone when he took his last breath in this life. So I did.

I know how it looked, me cradling my former lover in my arms, the knife used to inflict the life ending injuries nearby. My fingerprints the only ones they found on the weapon. No one would listen when I told them that I didn't do it, that I had found him and the knife. That I picked it up to move it from his body in pure disgust. The only witness to the crime was dead; Edward could not tell them what happened. They relied entirely on forensic evidence and the statements from neighbors who heard a disturbance before they called the Police. It's truly a shame they hadn't heard what must've been whatever confrontation resulted in his injuries, and not my screams when I walked in and found him dying in the hallway of his home.

Closing my eyes, I try to block out the memories of that night, but that is what brought me here, to death row at Texas State Penitentiary. I have been on death row for almost five years, and now my time is nearly over. I will finally be free.

Footsteps come along the corridor outside the cells. I know they are coming for me as I am the only person this far down the row. I stand, waiting to see who it will be. I have a great relationship with the guards. They know I have never given any of them a moment's grief in my time here––a model prisoner they would call me if I wasn't convicted of murder. The familiar face of Charlie smiles at me.

"Morning, Carlisle." He opens the hatch on the cell door and passes through a tray containing my breakfast.

"Morning, Officer Swan. How's the family?" I reply, and he shakes his head at me.

"You know you can call me Charlie." I nod, smiling briefly. "They are okay, keeping me busy as usual." He has always been so good to me, never treating me as less than a human being. He has a compassionate streak, and I sometimes find myself wondering how he ended up in such a thankless job.

"Thanks, Charlie. You know I will miss these chats of ours." I never take my eyes from his face, watching as he examines the floor intently. Charlie mutters something under his breath before he turns and leaves.

Sitting on the bed, I look at the food before me, knowing that eating this will make no difference to me, but as my stomach growls, I give in. The porridge is bland and tasteless as always, but it serves its purpose. Once I am done eating I place the tray on the floor, waiting for Charlie to come back to collect it.

When he returns, there is a look of confusion on his face as he addresses me.

"Carlisle, you know that today is-"

I interrupt him. "I know. Please don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

Charlie lets out a deep sigh, rubbing his hand over his chin as he tries to find the words he needs. "Okay, so we all know what today is, but that aside, you have a special visitor."

"Who?" I question. There is only one other person I can think of, but I told him to forget me, to move on with his life, knowing that mine would be over. He had been my partner, my lover. His name is Garrett.

Charlie smiles at me. "I have been asked not to say anything. I will come for you when the time is right. Just try to relax."

I laugh. Relax? Really? I know that he has a sense of humor, but knowing today is my last day is almost too much to bear. Appeals had been filed and dismissed; there is no escaping what will happen tonight. I lay back down, confusion filling me. They had run through what will happen. From what I remember, this is definitely not on the agenda. I had said goodbye to those that mattered. My father refused to visit me in the last month, knowing that soon I would be gone. My mom hadn't been to see my in about a year; it broke her heart too much. Deep down, I wonder if she believed me when I told her I hadn't done it, that I was innocent. She said that she believed me, but I know that deep down she never approved of my sexual preferences. Maybe she sees this as some form of just punishment.

Time passes as I wait, and somehow I manage to drift off to sleep, I am woken by a throat being cleared, and sit up to see Charlie and Billy standing, staring at me. Getting to my feet, nerves start to kick in. They open the hatch on the cell door and I put my hands through so they can place the handcuffs around my wrists. We all know they are not needed, but it is protocol. Once they have me secure, they open the cell door and I step outside. They lead me from the row of cells, where we stop outside one of the private rooms usually reserved for meetings with your attorney. They remove my handcuffs, patting me on the back. This time, Billy speaks to me.

"Carlisle, you have an hour. I wish we could give you more time, but this is breaking every rule. Now go, you have complete and total privacy I promise you that. We will knock on the door once your time is up."

I look between them, not quite knowing what to say, or who to expect behind the door, but I manage to say, "Thank you."

I pause for a moment before my shaking hand pushes the handle down, opening the door. To my surprise, I see Garrett sitting in one of the chairs, his head in his hands. Closing the door softly behind me causes his head to snap up, and his eyes meet mine. I feel as nervous as a teenager on his first date, but the man I love is here, right in front of me, and we have an hour together. He clearly hasn't given up on me, or moved on as I asked. Part of me is happy he hasn't, but the other part is sad he will have to mourn.

The gravity of the situation is not lost on me. This will be the very last time I will see him; we have to make every moment count. I cross the room toward him, watching as he stands, his arms outstretched, tears filling his eyes.

"Hey, handsome," he says in a whisper as he fights back the emotion I know he feels, as I feel it too.

We stand staring at each other, neither quite able to believe that we are here, alone and together. My hands are shaking as they reach out to him, to touch his face as I run my hand down his jawline, feeling the stubble adorning his face, remembering how it feels when they make contact with my body. Desire sparks deep inside of me; it has been far too long since I have been able to touch him.

I realize what they have given me; an hour, sixty precious minutes alone with the man that I love and miss with all my heart and soul. There really is nothing else I want other than for this whole situation to be a dream––well, more like a nightmare.

Our lips meet and it feels like our first kiss, both of us nervous and unsure, before the passion that ruled our relationship takes over. Our tongues meet and fight for control, for dominance of the other, neither of us giving in. This is what set my relationship with Garrett apart from what I had with Edward. They were as different as night and day. Garrett stood up to me, showed me raw passion and determination. He brought out an adventurous side in me that I never knew existed before.

I pull away from him as the ferocity of our passion grows. I know I will not be able to resist him for long, and only hope Billy and Charlie are true to their word that we will not be interrupted. I utter, "God, I missed you," before kissing him again. My hands roam his body, and he grabs the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. I can feel his cock, hard and strong as he bucks his hips into me, telling me without words he feels the same.

"I want you," he breaths, as he breaks away from my mouth, moving his attention to my neck. "So badly." He places kiss after kiss on my neck, and I can't help but groan in response. Before I can breathe he spins me around, his arm wrapped around my waist as he pulls me flush against him.

I can feel just how much he wants me. He has me so I can't move away from him, not that I want to. Each time he rolls his hips I can feel him pressing against me, exactly where I need him the most. I know if we only have time to make love once, I want to feel him inside me one last time.

I feel bad he has to bear the stigma of being my partner through the trial, then my sentencing. He told me that he believed me when I said that I didn't do it; he has never questioned my guilt. I remember the first time that he visited me, the pain I felt after the visit was over. I withdrew into myself, refusing to eat. I had ruined not only my life, but his too.

I told him to forget me, to move on with his life when I was first convicted, but Garrett being the obstinate son of a bitch that I fell for, refused. He told me he would stand by me regardless. I still remember the day my sentence was handed down; he crumbled, falling to his knees, sobbing in the public gallery. I wanted to go to him, to hold him, but I couldn't. Edward's family was in court to see justice served, and thanks to their celebrations at my sentence, the court was cleared and I was led away.

"Garrett, I need you. Please?" I beg him, knowing this is as much about me needing to give him something as much as me needing him. He responds by loosening his hold on me. I turn to face him, searching his face for any sign this is not what he wants. Instead, I see him scanning the room; I have no idea what he is looking for. His eyes fall back on me, and I am ashamed. I am standing here for the last time in front of the man I love, and I am wearing my prison issue orange jumpsuit. I have never felt so ashamed in my entire life.

His hands grab hold of the snaps on the front of my jumpsuit. He rips them apart, exposing my chest. Slowly, he walks me backward until I hit the wall. Once there, he grins at me, before pushing the offending item over my shoulders until it falls around my hips, my arms remaining trapped inside the sleeves. He lays a trail of kisses down my exposed chest, occasionally his teeth nipping my skin, causing me to gasp. I know where this is leading, and I don't care. If this is what he wants, then I want it, too.

Eventually, he reaches where the jumpsuit is gathered around my waist and he growls, grabbing hold of it, pulling it down over my hips until it falls around my ankles. My now free arms are fisted in his hair as he gasps at the sight of my cock standing proud and erect in front of him. It is desperate for his attention, as am I. He looks up at my face with a smile on his lips before he sinks to his knees and wraps his mouth around my erection. I hiss in pure pleasure at the contact. I have forgotten how good this feels; it has been too long. I have, of course, attempted to provide myself with some relief during my incarceration There really are only so many times that you can jack yourself off before it loses its appeal, knowing that you will never have the man you crave touch you again. But he is here and this is real.

My head falls back, my eyes closing at the pure pleasure coursing through me as he expertly maneuvers his mouth up and down my aching cock. I am concerned I won't be able to hold out for too long and I try to verbalize this to him, but the words catch in my throat and come out more like a groan than anything. This only encourages him, making him speed up his actions. I can feel the tightening start to build, and I know this is all too much for me to handle, that too quickly for my own liking I will find my release. I tap Garrett on the shoulder, as I always did, warning him that I am close. I never just assumed he would swallow. I have always been a considerate lover; just because of the situation we are in now, that is not going to stop.

All too soon my orgasm rips through me. I come long and hard, my body shuddering and quivering as I ride it out. Garrett remains on his knees in front of me, his hands holding onto my hips, helping to keep me upright, which I am grateful for as I am worried my legs will give out on me. It is like a tidal wave of emotion hitting me, and once again I close my eyes and fight to keep tears from falling. There is no way I can let him see just how much this is affecting me.

Once he is sure I am okay, he lets go of me before standing between my legs, grinning at me. "You okay, babe?" he asks in a low voice. All I can do is nod at him, afraid my voice won't hold out and I will break down.

I decide to show him how I feel, so I kiss him with as much passion as I can muster, at the same time palming his erection through his jeans, swallowing the groan that my actions elicit from him. Pulling back slightly, I manage to speak, the lust heavy in my voice. "I want you. I want you to feel how much I love you, I need you to know that I always will."

I watch as his eyes spark with the recognition of what I am saying––that I want him even though our time together is painfully short. Despite me telling him to forget me, I need him to know I still love him, that I need him.

My heart aches, knowing this will be our last time together, but I try to put this feeling aside. He has made me feel great, and I want to return the favor. He kisses me again. Despite the fact I just orgasmed, my cock starts to respond to the overload of stimulation after being denied for so long. Desperately, I try to fight against it, wanting to keep it under control, wanting this feeling to last. I wish there was a way to freeze time outside of this room, but to let us just be. That is never going to happen, though. The dye has been cast, and nothing can change what will happen today. My fate is sealed, and all I can do is accept it, take each and every moment for what it is, precious.

Looking around the sparse room, I wonder where the final act of our love will happen. It feels wrong, dirty somehow to make love here in a room that is used for such serious business usually. Right now, beggars can't be choosers. And me? I am certainly ready to beg to feel him inside me once again.

It's as if Garrett senses my confusion and concern as he too looks around the room before looking at me, making light of the situation. "Sorry, it's hardly The Plaza, is it?"

I smile at him before placing a soft, gentle kiss on his lips, pleased that he still has the memory of the weekend we met in New York when I was there on business, staying at The Plaza in Manhattan. That chance meeting changed both our lives. I would have said for the better, but the chain of events that followed brought me here, to death row. Pushing away these darker thoughts, I remember how we ended up locked in my room at the hotel, discovering each other's bodies for hours; how that weekend I realized my life with Edward was over. As much as that broke my heart, and ultimately his,I moved on to a new life with Garrett.

I answer him, knowing he is thinking of that time, too. "No, it's not. But who needs a fancy New York Hotel? We have all that is important right here."

"This is why I love you Carlisle." He motions around the room. "We're stuck here in this shitty room, and you are under a death sentence. I will never see you again once I leave here, and you come out with some romantic bullshit."

I listen as the emotions carry in his words. I hear in his tone that this is obviously harder on him than I had thought. I don't know how I expected him to react. In all honesty, I thought there would be someone else in his life, in his bed by now. I am aware he was no saint before we got together, so the thought of him being celibate is not something that I considered, especially when I told him to move on.

"Garrett, you know you are all I need." I take a deep breath, pulling myself together before I continue. "We don't have much time, babe. Let's make every moment count. Okay?"

He simply nods his chin falling onto his chest. I can't bear not to look into his eyes, so I push his chin up, causing our eyes our eyes to meet. My breath hitches as just with a stare, he makes my heart skip a beat. "I need you. Fuck, I want you, Garrett. Make love to me, please?" I whisper, not sure that he has heard me as he continues to stare into my eyes. The only sign that he has heard me, is when he reaches around me, grabbing my naked ass, pulling me flush to him.

His voice, heavy with lust, sends shivers down my spine in anticipation. "I could never refuse you, Carlisle. You know that."

We kiss once again, before things turn altogether more desperate and passionate. I kick off my jumpsuit, before clawing at his shirt and jeans, tearing them from his body, needing to see him, all of him. Once he is naked, I see a tattoo adorning his chest, over his heart, and it is my family crest. My fingers reach out, touching the letters, a lump building in my throat as I realize he had done this, knowing the significance.

The air is thick between us as he takes hold of my hand, bringing it to his lips, tenderly placing a kiss on it before placing it flat against his chest, covering the tattoo. "This way I will always have you close to my heart."

With those words, I know we have to make the most of whatever time we have left. I have no idea how long we have been left alone, only however long they have given me will never be enough. No further words are needed as we begin to kiss once again, our bodies so close you can't tell where I end and he begin. Any concerns about where we can be together are gone, as instinctively we fall to our knees as one.

In the silence of the room we rock against each other, desperate for the closeness we once had. Garrett moves me so I am facing away from him, one arm secured around my waist as he takes hold of my erection in his hand, sliding up and down, sending shockwaves through me. I flinch as his other hand slides down between us and his dexterous fingers slide in between my ass cheeks, my automatic reaction causing him to pause.

I feel his breath on my ear as he whispers, "Relax, it's okay. You know I won't hurt you. I want you so badly, Carlisle. You are going to feel so good when I am inside you, I promise."

Desire rocks my body, causing me to groan at his words. A shiver runs down my spine, and I push my ass onto his erection, bring a deep hiss from his lips.

He kisses my neck, down onto my shoulder, nipping at the skin and causing me to almost melt into him. There is no better feeling than this, and it is a memory I will take with me, wherever it is I am destined to end up. I've had a lot of time to think about heaven, hell and whatever lay in between. We move together, his fingers rubbing against me, teasing me. I want him but I know we need something to help; it has been too long.

I manage to murmur, "I can't, I.."

His response shocks me as he pulls away from me. I turn in panic, thinking he thinks I don't want him, only to see him reaching for his discarded jeans, rifling in the pocket before a smile lights up his face, a small package in his hand. "You thought I wouldn't be prepared? Really, Carlisle?"

I suppress a laugh; of course, I should have known better. This is Garrett after all. The man is methodical in everything he does. I hear the package tear and I bite my lip in expectation of what's to come next. His slick fingers find their way back to where I need them the most, and I groan as he teases me. I find myself once again pushing back against him, the action causing the tip of his finger to push inside me. I freeze for a moment, forgetting just how good this feels. I need more than his fingers, and I need it now. He isn't in a rush, though. He slowly pushes his finger further into me, pausing when he reaches the inner ring of muscle as it reacts to the intrusion.

I groan deeply, letting him know I am okay before he continues. Each time he goes deeper, before adding another finger. Eventually, I am struggling to contain my need, so I wrap my hand around my hardened cock and move my hand up and down. Garrett sees this and suddenly withdraws his fingers. I immediately miss the feeling of having him inside me, so I turn to look at him. There is a mischievous grin in his face. He reaches down and grabs the packet he dropped on the floor. I know what this means, so I get down onto my arms, my ass ready for him. I listen intently as he slicks the leftover lube over his own erection, desire coursing through me as the anticipation builds.

He causes me to jump slightly when he places on hand onto my hip, the other guiding himself toward my waiting ass. I place my mouth onto my arm, hoping I can suppress the scream I can feel building deep in my chest. When he first slides into me, I honestly think I will lose it instantly. It is like he knows, so he pauses, allowing me the time I need to adjust to the sensory overload.

Just as I am getting myself under some form of control, he whispers in my ear, "You still drive me crazy, even after all this time"

My response is to push back, which in turn pushes him further inside me, and we cry out in unison. Once we catch our breath, he holds my hips firmly in his hands and pulls back, before he pushing all the way back into me, filling me with each and every thrust. I can hear his breathing becoming shallower as he chases down his own desire. He begins to mutter and mumble, but I can't make out the words as they fall from his lips.

I know his body and how he reacts to me, just as well as he knows mine. Even through my own pleasure, I can tell he is close to orgasm, his thrusts becoming more frantic and desperate. Taking hold of my own erection, I begin to slide my hand along it, knowing it won't take much for me to come either, and I feel ashamed. I remember how before all this happened, we would spend hours making love, neither one of us wanting to stop. Those days are long gone, and now all we have left is this; a frantic fucking session here in the prison where my life will end.

My body feels weightless, and I am helpless as the feelings assault me. "Oh god, Garrett!" I groan. He responds with a deep growl as his body shakes. I feel him thrust into me one last time, the warmth of his orgasm filling me, taking me over the edge with him as I come once again. When we are able to move, he pulls out before, yet again, his body comes flush with mine. I hear him whisper over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His arms wrap around me as we fall onto the floor. I can feel his tears as they fall onto me. No words can stop them, so I don't try.

We lay there, naked but sated, knowing time is short, but yet neither of us can speak. The gentle brush of his hand over my skin sends chills running through me. I think back to how it had been with Edward, and I feel bad. I cheated on him with Garrett, fearing he would leave me due to the age difference. I have had time to think about what would've happened had I not met Garrett. I blame myself in that respect for Edward's murder, but I was not the one who killed him. It was merely a decision that I made that had brought about his death, but I still feel guilty that my happiness ended his life. If we had still been together, he wouldn't have been living there alone. There wouldn't have been a murder, I would be free, he would be alive. Like I said, I've had a lot of time to think this through on death row; knowing nothing can change things only make it harder.

I close my eyes, inhaling his scent, and my own tears start to fall. I wish things could be different, but fate has dealt me this hand, and there is nothing that I can do. A gentle knock on the door causes us both to jump. This is it; our time together is over.

The door opens slightly, but not enough for anyone to see us, not that it matters to me. "Sorry, Carlisle," comes the voice of Charlie. "I'm sorry, but your time is up. I'll, erm, let you two get dressed, or whatever."

I chuckle darkly. How true that statement is, given what today is. "Thanks, Charlie," I call out.

With that, the door closes. I grab what clothing I have and dress quickly. Turning to Garrett, I see him getting dressed, too. Once we are both clothed, we stand, looking at each other. The look of pain on his face says everything. It is as if the realization of it all finally registers with him; this is the last time he will see me.

He mutters, "There is so much I wanted to say to you, but now we are out of time. Just know that I have always loved you, you are everything to me. I'm sorry, I just wish that I could go back and change things. I wouldn't-"

I silence him, putting my fingers on his lips. "Sssh, there is no need for you to apologize. What's done is done, it's not your fault."

He shakes his head. "No you don't understand. It's-"

Whatever he is about to say is stopped by the door opening and Charlie appearing. "Sorry, but I have to take you back, Carlisle. I wish I could give you more time, but we weren't even supposed to do this."

He stands there waiting for me to go to him, so I do. Once I am standing in front of him, I hold out my hands to allow the handcuffs to be fastened around them. Charlie puts his hand on my elbow, indicating it is time for us to leave. I don't fight it; there is no point. I just allow myself to be led out.

Then I hear a sob from Garrett. It causes me to falter, close my eyes, and take a deep breath, before I drop my head and continue walking. Leaving him is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Hearing how upset he is shatters my heart into a million pieces. Another innocent victim of this whole situation, another life ruined in the aftermath of someone else's decisions. The walk back to my cell feels like it takes forever, with Charlie remaining silent the whole way. I have no idea if he knows exactly what went on in the room. I mean, he obviously knows that we would be saying our goodbyes and how hard that would be. Then again, he must've been through this time and time again with the number of people that had been on death row before finally meeting their end here.

He leaves me in my cell once again, and I know I will soon be leaving here, never to return. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes, drifting into a dream filled sleep. I am with Garrett at home, free from the sentence hanging over me. He grabs me the second I walk through the door, pinning me to the wall in the hallway before he sinks to his knees in front of me, taking me in his mouth, running his tongue up and down my hardened cock. My head falls back at the pleasure, and I run my hand through his hair as he works me into a frenzy before something just feels wrong. I look down to find it isn't Garrett on his knees in front of me, it is Edward. In a state of shock, I push him away, causing him to lose his balance. He falls to the ground, his shirt beginning to change color. The pristine white replaced by patches of the deepest red. Then I realize, it's blood. His blood. He lays there looking at me, a look of pure terror on his face as he grabs frantically at the wounds. He spits to me, "This is your fault, all of it. Why, Carlisle? Why did you do this?"

I wake with a jolt, sitting upright and gasping for breath. My hand clutches my chest as I struggle with what the dream means. It takes me some time to calm myself. No one comes to check on me, so I assume I didn't scream out, which is good. The dreams of Edward were more common just after his murder. They were so vivid, that at times I would dread closing my eyes, afraid I would see it all over again. I ended up being put into solitary confinement at one point it was so bad. That was because I refused to be medicated; I felt that I deserved to suffer.

Just as quickly as they started, the nightmares stopped. Yes, I would dream of him, but thankfully on the whole they were happy dreams. He was alive and I was free, the last few years having never happened. There were some nightmares in there too, but they were usually of when I saw him that last time.

My eyes adjust to the light once again. As they fall on the small window in my cell, I notice with a heavy heart that darkness has fallen. Time is passing so quickly, and there is so much I want to do before my time is up. I had asked for a pen and some paper so I could write letters to my family. I see this was placed just on the inside of the cell. Billy said he would make sure they were sent after my death, as I requested. I decide to write these now. It feels right, this being one of the last things that I will be able to do. To tell them after I am gone how much I loved them.

Sitting to write the letters is hard. It breaks my heart, but needs to be done. I write one to each my folks, before I sit and write one to Garrett. I manage to smile through the infinite sadness I feel as I tell him I love him. Reminding him of what we had done only hours earlier, hoping that would give him some comfort. The hardest part for me is telling him I still want him to find someone and be happy. I don't want him living with me as a ghost in his life, haunting him, stopping him from finding the love that he deserves.

As I seal the envelope on the last letter, I hear a movement outside my cell. When I turn, I feel a chill run down my spine. Standing on the other side of the bars is a priest. I had told them I didn't want one, so why he is here is a mystery to me. I feel like God failed me in the worst possible way by letting Edward die. His real killer walked free, while I was accused, tried by jury to be wrongly convicted of his murder, so why would I want to make peace with God now when I felt that he failed me so badly?

The priest stares at me, obviously trying to read me. I know that he will get nothing from me. In my time in prison, I have learned to hide what I am thinking.

Sighing heavily, I simply say, "I didn't want anything like this." He opens his mouth to speak, but I stop him before he can form the words. "I used to believe in God, right and wrong, good and evil, but all that stopped when I was handed a death sentence for a crime I didn't commit." I pause for effect before I speak once again, this time my voice adopting a harder edge. "Tell me, do you have answers for me as to why this is happening to me? Or are you here to listen to me confess the crime I didn't commit before you absolve me of my imagined sins so that I will have a guilt free conscience ready for when I die tonight? If I ask for forgiveness, will I be allowed to enter Heaven?"

My words are harsh. I can tell by the look of surprise on his face, but I don't care. From the start, I protested my innocence, so to ask for absolution would be wrong and hypocritical. I turn away and listen as his footsteps sound his retreat. This is it for me. I know that soon I will be leaving my cell for the last time. I lay back down to wait for the inevitable.

Eventually, I hear footsteps approach and I know this is it. The time has come. I stand with my head bowed, waiting for them to arrive. There is nothing I can do other than comply. I glance up briefly as Charlie and Billy step into my cell. Waiting just outside is the prison warden. I know he will come with me on my final journey, although it gives me some comfort to know Billy and Charlie will also be with me at the end.

I follow them to the room from which I will never return; the execution chamber. They explain what will happen and I have no fear. In fact, I welcome death. There is no way you can call what I have been doing living. It was existing. My life was over the day that the guilty verdict was announced.

The table is there in front of me and I climb onto it. As I lay down, the guards move around me, fastening the straps across me that will secure me. I lay in almost the crucifix position. My body looks calm to anyone watching, but my mind is racing. I stare at the ceiling into the white fluorescent light above me, resigned that this is the time for my life to end. Everything I have been through up until this point in my life has brought me here. Every decision, every choice I made, and now, well now there is nothing that I can do. I will die here an innocent man. That is a small comfort to me, knowing that I am innocent. I am certainly not the murderer people think I am. I am another victim; one with no one to stand up for them. But that doesn't matter now. It is too late.

The warden stands at my head, not a glimmer of emotion in his eyes, I wonder how many times he's been here, how many lives he has watched end. My musing is interrupted as a needle pierces my skin, causing a sharp intake of breath, a second needle performing the same ritual on my other arm. Two lines of IV are linked to me. I think darkly to myself, _Better safe than sorry obviously when it comes to ending a life._

I can't move, the straps tight and keeping me fixed firmly in place. The only part of my body free of restraint is my head, which I can move from side to side. I notice they have opened the curtain on the window that masks, when needed, what is happening in here from the witnesses in the adjoining room. These are the men and women assembled to watch me die, to see that 'justice' has been done. I knew that his family would come, they would want to see it for themselves. I am not surprised when I see his mom sitting in the front of the room, her hand shaking as she raises it to cover her face at the shock of seeing me once again.

Is this not what she wanted? Justice to be served? Once she had welcomed me into her home and treated me like a son. Now, she hates me for what she believes that I have done. I turn my head away from her stare. Closing my eyes tightly, I fight the tears that threaten to fall. There is no way I can allow them to fall here. They will think this to be an admission of guilt, and I can't let my final act condemn me this way.

Once I have myself under control, I look at the clock on the wall directly in front of me, knowing it is almost time. As the hands prepare to join each other at the number twelve, a white sheet is placed over my body, only my head remaining exposed. It is laughable to me that they are covering me up like they would a corpse. I'm not dead, yet.

The warden speaks to me in a low voice, no emotion evident as he asks me:

"Carlisle Cullen, you know why you are here. Any final words you wish to speak before the sentence passed is carried out?"

Keeping the emotion from my voice, I speak for what I know will be the final time.

"No, there is nothing left for me to say."

The warden shifts nervously to my side. I know this is it. I fight the urge to look at him. I don't want to have that thought confirmed, but there is no escaping the feeling as the IV liquid flows into my veins. Allowing myself a wry smile, more in resignation than humor, I turn my head to face the witnesses once again. I look at their faces, knowing these people will be the last thing I see before I am finally at peace.

Then I see him, sitting there ready to watch me die, pain clearly etched on his face. Why is he here? We said our goodbyes already and my body aches from the memory of it. The tears I earlier refused to shed well up in my eyes as they flutter, threatening to close. I mouth the words, the last ones that will ever pass my lips to him. "I love you." My heart is in my mouth as he leaps to his feet. From what I can see, he is shouting. It never occurred to me the room would be soundproofed as I can't hear him.

Smiling weakly at him as he moves toward the window, his fist bangs on the glass. There is nothing he can do; this is it for me, for us. Guards move to restrain him, but he shrugs them off. His hands splay on the glass as he mouths at me over and over again words that he said earlier, "I love you, I'm sorry." The tears stream down his face, and I watch as he disappears from sight as his knees seem to give way from under him.

I think back to that night before I arrived at Edward's, the night he was murdered. I guess I will never know who killed him or why. The only solace I can take is I was there for him at the end. Hopefully that gave him some comfort. I mean no one wants to die alone do they? I loved Edward. He always had a special place in my heart, and I wish I knew what happened that night, or even stopped it. Then two lives would have been saved; his and now mine. The only thing I know is that he is gone, and I am lying here paying for someone else's actions with my own life.

I stare at the ceiling, holding back the emotions racing through me. But they are chased away by a feeling of extreme calm washing through me, making me almost forget where I am. I know this is what needs to happen. It's all part of the plan, I just have to accept it.

Through the haze running through my body, I catch sight of a commotion in the room where the witnesses are gathered. I struggle to see clearly as my vision is hazy with the drugs flowing through me, the ones that will end my life.

Then I see a man I don't recognize is on his feet, pointing at Garrett. He looks to be shouting, arms outstretched as if he is goading him. My eyes find Edward's mom as she stands, her hands shaking as they cover her face. I would give anything to know what is happening in the room. I watch confused as the door into the room flies open and prison guards rush in, heading straight to Garrett. What has he done?

The radio on Charlie and Billy's lapels buzz and I hear voices filtering through, although I can't make out what they're saying. Their eyes lock onto mine and there is nothing other than a look of panic and confusion on their faces. What have they heard?

My eyes leave theirs and go back to the viewing room, just in time to see a sight that I fear will stop my heart long before the drugs in the IV line have the chance. Garrett somehow has managed to get a gun from one of the guards and is waving it around the room. The other guards have theirs trained on him. He turns to face me, tears filling his eyes as he mouths, "It was me, I did it. I'm sorry."

In that moment, realization hits me. Garrett is standing there watching me die, but yet he just confessed that he killed Edward. I need to know why, but there is no time left for me, no conceivable way that I will ever find out the answers to this question. There is commotion all around me, but my eyes are fixed on Garrett and the drama that is playing out. I find some strength to struggle against the restraints, even though I know it is futile.

Horror fills me as I watch Garrett raise the gun he is holding to the side of his head. I scream his name, but I know he won't hear it. Suddenly, my body feels like I am slipping away. Even keeping my eyes open is an effort. It is like everyone has forgotten about me lying here. Garrett turns to me one final time, smiling. That is the last thing I see as my eyes close and I embrace the darkness that waits for me.

My throat feels scratchy and dry and my entire body aches. The light in the room is so bright that it hurts my eyes. Once I am able to focus, I take in my surroundings. It looks like the hospital infirmary, and I wonder how I ended up here as I have no recollection. Tiredness washes through me, and I slip back into the darkness that claws at me.

I hear a voice calling my name, and I look toward where it was coming from. My eyes open once again, and I see Charlie standing by the side of the bed. I blink several times, my voice sounding hoarse. "Why am I here? What happened to me?"

Watching his face as he tries to hide his emotions, he chooses his words carefully. "Do you remember anything?"

I close my eyes, memories assaulting me. Being with Garrett for one last time, the execution chamber, Garrett having a gun in his hand. That causes me to sit upright as panic rips through me.

My eyes seek out Charlie. "Garrett! What happened?" Charlie turns away from me. "Charlie, I need to know, please?" I plead with him. He turns back toward me and opens his mouth to speak, but the words do not come, as the door opens and the Warden steps inside.

"Swan, you need to step outside. I will handle this." Charlie simply nods and leaves the room, but not before casting me a final glance.

My heart is pounding as he steps toward me. Once he is next to the bed, he sits down in the plastic chair beside me.

"Carlisle, there is no easy way to say this, but I need you to listen to me. I will answer any questions that you have after." I nod in acknowledgement, as he takes a deep breath before speaking. "Your execution was halted at the last possible minute. In fact, I feared that it was too late for you." He pauses briefly, and it takes everything I have not to interrupt him. "There was an incident in the witness room that changed everything. New evidence came to light that cast doubt on the security of your conviction and sentence. Someone confessed to the murder, clearing you." He pauses once again, and this time I can't stop the words falling from my lips.

"Garrett. He killed Edward?"

The warden just nods. I feel like I have been punched in the gut. Garrett killed Edward, and then watched as I was tried and convicted of a murder he knew I didn't commit. I was handed the death penalty, yet he remained silent. I thought he loved me, but clearly I was wrong. He was prepared to watch me die in his place. His words suddenly made sense; his declaration that he was sorry rang in my ears

"There was a potential witness to the murder. He never came forward as he was too scared at the time. Turns out he had seen someone leaving the house covered in blood. He blocked it out of his memory, Riley was just a child when it happened. Then when your execution date hit the local news, it brought back the memories. Riley said he needed to see you, as he was sure that you weren't the man that he had seen fleeing the scene that night. What he didn't expect to see was the murderer standing several feet away from him. It all came out in the witness room.

It turned out Garrett never planned to live after your death. He left a letter in which he explained everything, describing things that only the killer would have known. From what we could piece together, he was planning to leave here and then kill himself. Your conviction is being reviewed and the evidence re-examined. I fully expect that you will be exonerated, but this will take some time. You are to remain here until such time, but you are to be moved to the main population unit. Once, of course, you are well enough to be discharged from the infirmary."

"No! I want to remain on the same wing. I can't go into the main prison, please?" I plead.

I am greeted with a confused look, as he nods. "As you wish." He says, before he turns leaving the room. Once the door closes behind him, Charlie comes back in.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I really am. I never believed that you were guilty." He mumbled. "Here is the letter that was left for you."

I take the envelope from him, not sure if I want to read the contents or not. Charlie senses my need to be alone, and quietly leaves. Laying there, I hold the envelope in my hand for hours before I decide to open it. Seeing his handwriting in front of me makes this real, but seeing the words so clearly in front of me is heartbreaking.

_To whom it may concern._

_By the time you find this letter, I will have ended my life. You will no doubt want to know why, and I will tell you._

_I killed Edward Masen. The guilt of this has crippled me as I watch the man that I love with all my heart and soul pay for my crime. Why? I hear you ask. Simple. I am a coward and I cannot face knowing that my life will be ended by anyone else's hand other than my own. Carlisle was innocent, and yet I let him take the blame. What kind of man does that to someone they love? A guilty one; someone who is afraid of the truth and will hide behind lies to conceal their own guilt._

_The reason I killed him? We were lovers, Edward and I. Keeping a secret like this from Carlisle was hard for Edward, given their history together. He lost him to me, and for that he never forgave me. Turns out that he planned this all along, to rip us apart. That was why I killed him. _

_Edward threatened to call Carlisle and tell him the truth, that I had cheated on him. I knew this would devastate him, and I couldn't bear seeing that look of disappointment on his face. We argued and I grabbed the knife, stabbing him before I could even think. I planned to make it look like a robbery gone wrong, but I heard a car pull onto the drive and panicked, heading out the kitchen door. If I had known then that it was Carlisle who was there, I would've stayed, or at least I like to think I would have._

_Carlisle is innocent, and he will die for my crimes, so I am taking my own life. I know we won't be together in the afterlife––he is a pure soul. But me? I am damned regardless of how my life ends._

_I just wish I had the strength to tell him what I had done. Instead I hide behind words he doesn't comprehend, begging for his forgiveness without him ever knowing why._

_I hope he is at peace now, and both his and Edward's families can find it in their hearts to forgive me._

_There is a sealed letter with my lawyer. He has no idea what the contents are, but it is my full confession._

_Forgive me._

_Garrett._

I read the letter several time before I screw it into a ball, throwing it across the room. How could he? How could they? All this misery because Edward wanted to hurt me, like I hurt him. Two lives have been lost, and I nearly lost mine in the process. This was too much for me to take in right now. I feel like it is all a dream, and I am going to wake up with Garrett in my arms, telling me that it will all be okay. But I know that it isn't. It feels like nothing is going to be okay ever again. Tears fill my eyes and I allow them to fall unchecked down my cheeks. A deep sob pulls from me as I cry for everything I have suffered, and everything that has been lost in this whole mess. Finally, when there are no more tears to be shed, I fall into a deep sleep.

Second chances don't come along too often in life, yet here I have been handed one. The hardest thing I have to do now is to live, to move on with my life. I can't look back. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I have very nearly been killed, so in theory I should be stronger than ever. I just need to build that strength for the day I will finally be seen by all as an innocent man.

* * *

**Authors Note:**  
Thanks to the truly amazing Harrytwifan who beta'd this for me, and to Nothingwrongwithimperfection for pre-reading, especially as Slash isn't her thing but she did this for me.


End file.
